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The Internet Time Travel Database

Stanisław Lem

writer, artist

Ijon Tichy

Ze wspomnień Ijona Tichego, pt. 4

Literal: From remembrances of Ijon Tichy, pt. 4

by Stanisław Lem
Ijon is unphased when Physicist Molteris lugs his time machine into Ijon’s sitting room, promising Ijon will be repaid for the colossal amount of electricity that will be consumed by the first trip.
— Michael Main
Zamierzałem, ale . . . widzi pan . . . ja . . . mój gospodarz wyłączył mi elektrycznoćś . . . w niedzielę.
I planned to, but, you see, I—my landlord turned off the electricity on Sunday.
English
[ex=bare]Ze wspomnień Ijona Tichego, pt. 4 | From remembrances of Ijon Tichy, pt. 4[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Księga robotów (Iskry, 1961).

Lem’s Star Diaries

Czarna komnata profesora Tarantogi

Literal: Professor Tarantoga's black room

by Stanisław Lem
Professor Tarantoga saves human civilization! After using his chronopad to investigate the leading scientists and artists in history, Tarantoga concludes that without exception they are lazy drunkards. So naturally, he sends smart young people into various eras to invent differential calculus, to paint the Mona Lisa, etc.—all while a pair of police inspectors have their eye on him.
— based on Wikipedia
[ex=bare]Czarna komnata profesora Tarantogi: Widowisko telewizyjne | Professor Tarantoga’s black room: Television show[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Noc księżycowa (Wydawnictwo Literackie, 1963).

Lem’s Star Diaries

Dziwny gość profesora Tarantogi

Literal: Professor Tarantoga’s strange guest

by Stanisław Lem
I’d bet my last złotych that Lem is carefully satirizing the rule of the Polish United Workers’s Party in this story of a fourth-millennium man who hails from Mars and has room in his brain for two or three different personalities (Kazimierz Nowak, Hipperkorn, and possibly a dreaded Nanów), the first of which leapt from a touring chronobus in the 20th century where he hoped to find the inventor of time travel, Professor Tarantoga.
— Michael Main
W kilku słowach: w naszym społeczeñstwie decyduje o losie człowieka ranga intelektualna. Ludzie wartoœciowi, o zdolnoœciach wybitnych, mają prawo do całego, własnego ciała. Ja właœnie byłem takim, byłem samodzielnym, suwerennym meżczyznę!
Briefly, in our society the fate of a person depends on his intellectual level. Valuable people with outstanding abilities have the right to their entire body. I was just that, I was an independent, sovereign man!
English
[ex=bare]Dziwny gość profesora Tarantogi: Widowisko telewizyjne | Professor Tarantoga’s strange guest: Television show[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Noc księżycowa (Wydawnictwo Literackie, 1963).

Lem’s Star Diaries

Wyprawa profesora Tarantogi

Literal: Professor Tarantoga’s voyage

by Stanisław Lem
Oh, tensor! Oh, turbulent perturbation! Some time before Professor Tarantoga invented a time machine and met a schizophrenic man from the fourth millennium, he apparently invented a transporter that took him and his new assistant Chybek to a series of progressively more advanced civilizations, the last of which included a barefaced cook who had an embarrasing accident in the cosmic kitchen, resulting in mankind (and indirectly resulting in time travel for the professor and Chybek).
— Michael Main
I znów mi się przypaliło—jedno spiralne ramie, od spodu, na trzysta parseków—i znowu wybiegła mi słonecznica, i ścięło się, i będzie zgęstek, i powstanie białko, przeklęte białko! I znowu będzie ewolucja, i ludzkość, i cywilizacja, i będę się musiał tłumaczyć, usprawiedliwiać, składać we dwoje, przepraszać, że to niechcący, że przez przypadek . . . Ale to wy, nie ja!
And I got burned again—one spiral arm, underneath, three hundred parsecs—and again a sunflower came out of me and it was choked and there will be a bundle of white, cursed protein! And there will be evolution again, and humanity and civilization, and I will have to justify, justify, put together, apologize that it’s accidentally, that by accident . . .
English
[ex=bare]Wyprawa profesora Tarantogi: Widowisko w sześciu częściach | Professor Tarantoga’s voyage: A television show in six parts[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Noc księżycowa (Wydawnictwo Literackie, 1963).

The Voyages of Ijon Tichy 11

Podróż siódma

English release: The Seventh Voyage Literal: Journey seven

by Stanisław Lem
What do you do when your one-man spaceship loses an argument with a meteor, and the only way to repair the rudder demands two people? “The Seventh Voyage” is the eleventh tale of Stanisław Lem’s space traveler Ijon Ticvhy, but I believe it’s the first where the hero also wrangles with time.
— Michael Main
— Zaraz — odparł wolno, nawet nie ruszając palcem. — Dzisiaj jest wtorek. Jeżeli ty jesteś środowy i do tej chwili we środę jeszcze nie są naprawione stery, to z tego wynika, że coś przeszkodzi nam w ich naprawieniu, ponieważ w przeciwnym razie, ty, we środę, nie nakłaniałbyś już mnie do tego, abym ja, we wtorek, wspólnie je z tobą naprawiał. Więc może lepiej nie ryzykować wyjścia na zewnątrz?
“Just a minute,” I replied, remaining on the floor. ”Today is Tuesday. Now if you are the Wednesday me, and if by that time on Wednesday the rudder still hasn’t been fixed, then it follows that something will prevent us from fixing it, since otherwise you, on Wednesday, would not now, on Tuesday, be asking me to help you fix it. Wouldn’t it be best, then, for us to not risk going outside?”
English
[ex=bare]“Podróż siódma” | Voyage seven[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Niezwyciężony i inne opowiadania by Stanisław Lem (Ministerstwa Obrony Narodowej, 1964).

Powrót z gwiazd

English release: Return from the stars

by Stanisław Lem
Powrót z gwiazd by Stanisław Lem (Zora, 1964).

The Voyages of Ijon Tichy 20

Podróż dwudziesta

English release: The Twentieth Voyage Literal: Journey twenty

by Stanisław Lem
After the time mish-mash of Ijon Tichy’s seventh voyage, it wasn’t clear whether Ijon would ever ply the channels of time again, but here he is, traveling back in time to persuade himself to go forward in time and take up the helm of THEOHIPPIP—a.k.a. Teleotelechronistic-Historical Engineering to Optimize the Hyoerputerized Implementation of Paleological Programming and Interplanetary Planning. It takes a few attempts for older Ijon to convince younger Ijon to head to the future on a one-man chronocykl, but when he does, the younger Ijon begins the unexpectedly hard task of righting history’s wrongs. As a sophisticated time traveler yourself, you’ll spot what’s happening early on, while you also get a tour of history from the formamtion of the Solar System to the extinction of the dinosaurs and the paintings of Hieronymus Bosch. You’ll also recognize the fun Lem has at the expense of the bureaucracies of mid-20th-century Poland.
— Michael Main
Zresztą Bosch nie powstrzymał się od niedyskrecji. W „Ogrodzie uciech ziemskich,” w „piekle muzycznym” (prawe skrzydło tryptyku) stoi w samym środku dwunastoosobowy chronobus. I co miałem z tym robić?
Even so, Bosch couldn’t refrain from certain indiscretions. In the “Garden of Earthly Delights,” in the very center of the “Musical Hell” (the right wing of the triptych), stands a twelve-seat chronobus. Not a thing I could do about it.
English
[ex=bare]“Podróż dwudziesta” | Journey twenty[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Dzienniki gwiazdowe, expanded third edition, by Stanisław Lem, (Czytelnik, 1971).

Lem’s Star Diaries

Die seltsamen Begegnungen des Prof. Tarantoga

Literal: The strange encounters of Professor Tarantoga

[writer unknown], directed by Charles Kerremans
We have no details on the German remake of Wyprawa profesora Tarantogi except that Lem adaptation was humorless.
— Michael Main
[ex=bare]Die seltsamen Begegnungen des Prof. Tarantoga | The strange encounters of Professor Tarantoga[/ex] [writer unknown], directed by Charles Kerremans (ZDF, West Germany, 4 December 1978).

Lem’s Star Diaries

Professor Tarantoga und sein seltsamer Gast

Literal: Professor Tarantoga and his strange guest

by Dr. Albrecht Börner, directed by Jens-Peter Proll
According to Fernsehen der DDR, the German adaptation of Lem’s script finds the science-obsessed Professor Tarantoga with a strange guest who calls himself Novak (or maybe Hipperkorn) and claims to hail from fourth-millennium Mars where he quulles. part from the bit about quuelling, this certainly sounds like the 1963 Polish script that we read, but we don't know whether it was expanded or revised.
— based on Ffernsehen der DDR
[ex=bare]Professor Tarantoga und sein seltsamer Gast | Professor Tarantoga and his strange guest[/ex] by Dr. Albrecht Börner, directed by Jens-Peter Proll (Deutscher Fernsehfunk, East Germany, circa 21 April 1979).
as of 10:01 p.m. MDT, 5 May 2024
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