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Minotaurs, Centaurs, and Other Mash-Ups

Fictional Collectives

The Worm Ouroboros

by E. R. Eddison

For the most part, the story is a high fantasy in which three chiefs of Demonland—Lord Juss, Spitfire, and Brandoch Daha—embark on a heroic quest to rescue the fourth lord from his imprisonment in the mountains of Impland. However, at the end, Queen Sophonisba undertakes a resolution to the final problem that could well involve time travel.
— Michael Main
Lord, it is an Ambassador from Witchland and his train. He craveth present audience."

The Worm Ouroboros by E. R. Eddison (Jonathan Cape, 1922).

The Voyages of Ijon Tichy 20

Podróż dwudziesta

English release: The Twentieth Voyage Literal: Journey twenty

by Stanisław Lem

After the time mish-mash of Ijon Tichy’s seventh voyage, it wasn’t clear whether Ijon would ever ply the channels of time again, but here he is, traveling back in time to persuade himself to go forward in time and take up the helm of THEOHIPPIP—a.k.a. Teleotelechronistic-Historical Engineering to Optimize the Hyoerputerized Implementation of Paleological Programming and Interplanetary Planning. It takes a few attempts for older Ijon to convince younger Ijon to head to the future on a one-man chronocykl, but when he does, the younger Ijon begins the unexpectedly hard task of righting history’s wrongs. As a sophisticated time traveler yourself, you’ll spot what’s happening early on, while you also get a tour of history from the formamtion of the Solar System to the extinction of the dinosaurs and the paintings of Hieronymus Bosch. You’ll also recognize the fun Lem has at the expense of the bureaucracies of mid-20th-century Poland.
— Michael Main
Zresztą Bosch nie powstrzymał się od niedyskrecji. W „Ogrodzie uciech ziemskich,” w „piekle muzycznym” (prawe skrzydło tryptyku) stoi w samym środku dwunastoosobowy chronobus. I co miałem z tym robić?
Even so, Bosch couldn’t refrain from certain indiscretions. In the “Garden of Earthly Delights,” in the very center of the “Musical Hell” (the right wing of the triptych), stands a twelve-seat chronobus. Not a thing I could do about it.
English

[ex=bare]“Podróż dwudziesta” | Journey twenty[/ex] by Stanisław Lem, in Dzienniki gwiazdowe, expanded third edition, by Stanisław Lem, (Czytelnik, 1971).

Time Bandits

by Michael Palin and Terry Gilliam, directed by Terry Gilliam

A boy’s bedroom is invaded by six dwarves who have stolen The Supreme Being’s map, which naturally leads both boy and dwarves on adventures through time.
— Michael Main
Is it all ready? Right. Come on then. Back to creation. We mustn’t waste any more time. They’ll think I’ve lost control again and put it all down to evolution.

Time Bandits by Michael Palin and Terry Gilliam, directed by Terry Gilliam (at movie theaters, USA, 16 July 1981).

Sailing to Byzantium

by Robert Silverberg

Charles Phillips is a 20th-century New Yorker in a future world of immortal leisurites who reconstruct cities from the past.
— Michael Main
He knew very little about himself, but he knew that he was not one of them. That he knew. He knew that his name was Charles Phillips and that before he had come to live among these people he had lived in the year 1984, when there had been such things as computers and television sets and baseball and jet planes, and the world was full of cities, not merely five but thousands of them, New York and London and Johannesburg and Parks and Liverpool and Bangkok and San Francisco and Buenos Ares and a multitude of others, all at the same time.

“Sailing to Byzantium” by Robert Silverberg, Isaac Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, February 1985.

The Magic Tree House 16

Hour of the Olympics

by Mary Pope Osborne

Jack and Annie meet Plato and learn about the treatment of women in ancient Greece, while also rescuing a fourth lost book from history for Morgan’s library
— Michael Main
At that moment, Plato returned. With him was a young woman dressed in a long tunic with a colored border. She was holding a scroll.

Hour of the Olympics by Mary Pope Osborne (Random House, December 1998).

Harry Potter 3

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

by Steve Kloves, directed by Alfonso CuarĂłn

Compared to the books, I find the Harry Potter movies drawn-out and boring, but I rewatched this one during the pandemic and found that I enjoyed all three thirteen-year-olds as well as Hagrid, Sirius, Snape, Lupin, and—most of all—the fact that the filmmakers didn’t blithely destroy the single static timeline out of a misplaced sense that time travelers are meant to change the timeline willy-nilly.
— Michael Main
Hang on! That’s not possible. Ancient Runes is at the same time as Divination. You’d have to be in two classes at once.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by Steve Kloves, directed by Alfonso CuarĂłn (premiered at an unknown movie theater, New York City, 23 May 2004).

Artemis Fowl, Book #6

Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox

by Eoin Colfer

When fourteen-year-old genius Artemis Fowl realizes that the only cure for his mother’s case of Spelltropy lies in a species of lemur that Artemis made extinct eight years ago, there is only one solution: Grab your 80-year-old, elfin-police-captain-friend Holly Short and trick her into traveling back in time to stop your formerly evil, ten-year-old self from killing off the last of the all-cure lemurs.

Author Eoin Colfer does a masterful job presenting a single nonbranching, static timeline, complete with three consistent causal loops (further described in our tag notes for this story). But really, Eoin, you missed the shuttle on “the kiss”! With the help of N°1, Artemis can time travel, so if you're intent on his first romantic kiss coming from Holly Short, couldn’t N°1 have brought Holly’s actual fourteen-year-old self into the story? Might have even presented an opportunity for a fourth causal loop: Fourteen-year-old Holly kissees fourteen-year-old Artemis, but only because fifteen-year-old Artemis had already told thirteen-year-old Holly that they would enjoy it.

— Michael Main
Oh, bless my bum-flap. You’re time travelers.

The Time Paradox by Eoin Colfer (Hyperion Books for Children, July 2008).

Monster High, Movie #10

Monster High: Freaky Fusion

by Keith Wagner, directed by William Lau

The animated gang of teen monsters travel centuries into the past to the first day ever at Monster High, but when they return they have each merged with another in the group creating freaky hybrid monsters all around. I’m not sure, but I’m betting that Mattel used this DVD release as an opportunity to also sell freaky hybrid fashion dolls.
— Michael Main
It’s 1814: They’ve never seen fashion styles like ours before.

Monster High: Freaky Fusion by Keith Wagner, directed by William Lau (direct-to-video, USA, 16 September 2014).

as of 3:28 p.m. MDT, 18 May 2024
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